Craig Brown | Founder | Stop Hiding Start Healing
Have you ever found yourself in a tough situation, desperately needing advice, and turning to the wrong person? It happens more often than we realize. We want clarity, direction, and sometimes just a shortcut to avoid making hard decisions ourselves. But who we seek advice from matters—because bad counsel can lead to even worse outcomes.
The Bible speaks to this very issue:
“Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.” – Proverbs 13:20
Seeking wisdom is crucial, but not everyone is qualified to guide you. Let’s take a look at who you should avoid when searching for advice.
1. The Person With No Experience
Especially in recovery and personal growth, experience matters. If someone hasn’t walked the path you’re on, how can they guide you? Look for the scars—signs of the battles they’ve faced and overcome. Observe their commitment to growth before considering their advice.
2. The Negative One Who Can’t Move Past Their Own Failures
We all have setbacks, but some people remain stuck in negativity. Their advice is often laced with doubt, cynicism, and fear. Protect your heart from their influence because their pessimism can cloud your own judgment and lead you away from hope and healing.
3. The Friend Who Doesn’t Want to Hurt Your Feelings
A real friend will tell you the truth, even when it stings. If someone is too afraid to be honest, their advice won’t help you grow—it will only keep you comfortable in your current situation. Seek friends who love you enough to challenge you.
4. The Parent Who Wants to Protect You from Everything
Parental love is powerful, but sometimes it’s overprotective. Parents naturally want to shield their children from pain, but struggle and failure are necessary for growth. If your parent’s advice is rooted in fear, you might miss out on important life lessons.
5. The Person You Wouldn’t Trade Places With
This one is simple. If someone’s life is not where you want to be, why take their advice? Look for people whose character, faith, and wisdom you admire. If you wouldn’t trade places with them, don’t trade your decision-making process for theirs.
6. The Person Who Offers Advice Without Asking Permission
Unsolicited advice can be dangerous. Some people love to give their opinions, but that doesn’t mean they are wise. Be cautious of those who intrude on your decisions without first understanding your situation.
7. The Person Who Says They Are a Christian, But Don’t Live It
Anyone can claim to follow Christ, but actions speak louder than words. Look beyond someone’s religious talk—do they live with integrity? Do they love, serve, and speak with kindness? Wisdom comes from those who embody their faith, not just those who talk about it.
Choose Your Counsel Wisely
We all need advice sometimes, but where we get it from makes all the difference. Before you take someone’s counsel, ask yourself:
- Do they have experience in this area?
- Are they speaking from wisdom or negativity?
- Do they tell the truth, even when it’s hard to hear?
- Would I want to live like they do?
Moses, one of the greatest leaders in history, listened to wise counsel from his father-in-law (Exodus 18:24-27). He didn’t take advice from just anyone—he sought wisdom from someone who had lived well.
The bottom line? Be intentional about who you listen to. Walk with the wise, and you’ll become wiser.