Craig Brown | Founder | Stop Hiding Start Healing

Relapse is often misunderstood as an abrupt event—a sudden, isolated decision to return to destructive behaviors. However, relapse is rarely an impulsive act. Instead, it’s a slow, progressive process that unfolds over time. By understanding the three stages of relapse—emotional, mental, and physical—we can take proactive steps to prevent it before it fully manifests.

1. Emotional Stage

The emotional stage of relapse begins long before the thought of returning to unhealthy behaviors even crosses the mind. During this stage:

  • Triggers or warning signs appear: These may include stress, unresolved grief, or feelings of frustration.
  • Unhealthy emotional responses develop: Individuals may fail to deal with their emotions in healthy ways, leading to bottled-up feelings.
  • Isolation increases: Withdrawal from supportive relationships and community becomes more frequent.
  • Denial sets in: People may dismiss their emotional struggles as temporary or insignificant.

Though individuals may not consciously think about relapsing during this stage, avoiding or neglecting emotional well-being creates the groundwork for future struggles.

2. Mental Stage

In the mental stage of relapse, conflicting thoughts about recovery and relapse dominate the mind. Key characteristics include:

  • Conflicted feelings: Part of the individual wants to remain sober, while another part battles cravings and temptations.
  • Romanticizing the past: Thoughts like “Just one more time won’t hurt” or “It wasn’t that bad before” begin to surface.
  • Minimization of consequences: Individuals downplay the negative outcomes of past behaviors.
  • Fear of success: The idea of thriving in recovery might feel overwhelming or unattainable.

During this stage, people often secretly contemplate ways to relapse, and without intervention, this internal battle can lead to a tipping point.

3. Physical Stage

The physical stage is the culmination of emotional and mental neglect. At this point, the individual acts on their urges, returning to behaviors like substance use, compulsive gambling, unhealthy relationships, or other destructive patterns. This stage includes:

  • The final step of engaging in the behavior: Whether it’s drug use, overeating, or gambling, the physical stage marks a return to destructive habits.

For caregivers, loved ones, and supporters, the physical stage can be especially challenging to witness. Empathy, healthy boundaries, and preparedness are essential during this time.

Preventing Relapse

Understanding and addressing the early stages of relapse is critical. Here are some steps to support those in recovery:

  • Build empathy: Approach struggles with compassion and understanding rather than judgment.
  • Set healthy boundaries: Protect your own well-being while supporting others.
  • Prepare for emergencies: Develop a plan for immediate intervention if relapse occurs.
  • Educate yourself: Learn about the nature of relapse and resources available for support.
  • Encourage recovery programs: Groups like Celebrate Recovery offer safe spaces for healing and growth.

A Message of Hope

Relapse doesn’t have to be the end of the recovery journey. Psalm 107:13-14 offers encouragement: “Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness, and broke away their chains.”

Whether you’re in recovery or supporting someone who is, understanding the three stages of relapse empowers you to navigate challenges with wisdom and resilience. Healing is possible, and each step forward is a testament to the power of grace and perseverance.

 

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